Wow it's been a while!

 I know people aren't really seeing this place much, but a lot happened in my past year!

Mainly a new job, some therapy, moving in with my boyfriend, becoming diabetic, but overall just learning how to be an adult! I'll have to catch y'all up one day!

Watching On Netflix: Diagnosis (Comparing to my problem)

My mom and I are currently watching Diagnosis, the Netflix series that came out on August 16, 2019. As I type this, I'm watching the first episode. It's about a 23 year old girl named Angel Parker who has a mysterious disease that nobody seems to figure out, and with the help of  Dr.Lisa Sander's method, find her diagnosis so she can move on with her life.

This seems to speak to me on a spirital level.
Similar to Angel, I am having issues with a diagnosis myself. Unfortunatly, I believe just from the first episode that America's Medical system doesn't seem to care about people.

Angel had to go to Italy to rule out what she didn't have, and soon a diagnosis was given. It took her nine years to figure it out in America, but two months in Italy. It seems incredibly unfair for the American system to not be able to figure that out.

While my situation to compare to is not a genetic disorder, but rather an injury, it's been nearly three years and I've been given medications for what it possibly was.

I have issues walking, standing, even sitting or laying down. I've been on many kinds of medications, including Ibuprophen, Tylenol, Muscle Relaxer, Neurotin, and two different types of ointment.
Nothing worked. And I'm probably allergic to one of the medicines. The pain is random but always in the exact same spot. The only thing they found was a broken bone already healed (which was missed for over a year) and a ganglion cyst in the foot that's nowhere near the injury.
I can't excersize, I can't walk my dog, I can't run errands. I can't enjoy my life. I'll occasionally have pain in the ankle as well, my whole leg will feel heavy rarely, and every couple of weeks, I'll have a back spasm.
None of things were a problem until my injury at my job, which now wants to ruin my life by denying me proper help, stop paying me, and even lie to unemployment about still being hired by the company.

Now why does this matter?

Watching this documentary gives me hope that I'm going to find the right doctor to tell me why I'm having problems. I began missing playing catch with my dad, running around at my old job, playing with my dog, going to theme parks and fairs, hanging with my friends, and even sleeping properly. I want to see if this method would work for me. It so clearly works for other people. I just want to know what's really going on with me.

This documentary is drama in all the ways that effects me. I'm happy that a lot of these have happy endings (at least that's what I've heard), and maybe it's selfish to want the same thing for myself. But seeing these people get help makes me feel hopeful.

I'd rate the documentary series 4/5. This is a dramatic story and right now, I'm seeing the other stories. They just make me wanna hug the people in these stories. It makes me want to feel the relief these people find. But that's just me.

Miss Liz

Traditional Art So Far

One of my biggest goals lately has been getting back into traditional painting. I've been posting paintings (and dog pictures) on Instagram.

Here's a few of them:

I've been trying to practice background painting mainly...

<- May 31, 2019 (Acrylic)
<- July 22, 2019 (Watercolor)
<- August 24, 2019 (Acrylic)

As you can see, I'm more abstract in my art, but I have been trying to just paint my emotions. Other times I just paint to be silly. For example:
<- May 20, 2019 (Watercolor)

I feel very comfortable with watercolors but i've trained in acrylics. I also experimented with Gouache but I didn't take photos of those paintings. Oops...

My goal is one traditional painting per month. I skipped June, but that won't happen again. Hopefully I can share art again on a more scheduled outcome.

Miss Liz

The Begining of the Quest...

I won't sugar coat it. I can't remember a time in my adult life where I felt true happiness.

In college, I was just in college. I took a crummy part time job just to make ends meat, and I ended that with a mysterious injury and a bachelors degree in a college that shut down exactly three years later. I've bounced between so many hobbies that my art desk has no desk left. I can't walk for more then two hours without feeling agnoizing in pain or fearing the pain will escalade sooner then I'm used to.

And this has been my life ever since April 2018.

For those who don't want to do the math, it's been about 19 months since my job sentenced me to a life where I still don't know what's wrong with me, all thanks to a packer who can't properly place a 40+ pound of dog food. I can't blame the customer who ordered that dog food, but I can be angry at my work for not properly helping me.

All I can do now is take care of myself emotionally. Physically is already hard, so mentally and emotionally need to be extrememly taken care of as well.
And I decided to blog about this journey and find what makes me happy. Between jobs, I will find happiness my own way. I plan to continue after finding a job as well.

I guess I can start by explaining how I plan to do that. I am focusing on myself primarily. I'm going to attempt all kinds of arts and crafts. I'm going to try taking on hobbies. I'm going to talk about whatever's new on Netflix or Hulu, or whatever's streaming. Maybe I'll just make something for Youtube, like a side Vlog of what's happening. I don't really know yet.I might even document my road to recovery.

In a nutshell, I suppose I'll be posting what makes me happy, or posting what makes me not happy. This gives me the fusion of a diary and a dream journal I suppose? I can't say for sure, but that's just a feeling of what I anticipate my upcomings posts will be.

It's time to take a deep breath, crack my knuckles and get to work finding out who I am suppose to be.



Miss Liz